I am no stranger to the unexpected and sometimes devastating changes that life can bring. I have walked through emotional abuse, a near death car accident and the recovery process that comes after, divorce, and the death of my son from Cystic Fibrosis.
I will never pretend that any of this was easy. There were many moments when I didn't think I was going to make it through. I found myself all too often saying "Why me?". Wondering how one person could possible hold so much suffering. Afraid that the terror was too great. The anxiety too intense. The grief too shattering.
The thing is, I am a better person for all of it; every painful, tear-streaked, angry, resentful bit of it. Everyone of these events taught me and shaped me.
I learned how to be ok in the unknown, how to watch for the subtle and not so subtle signals all around me, to listen to my intuition, that I am not alone, how to hold space for people, how to forgive, how to LOVE with an open heart, to have meaningful conversations, to identify my personal triggers, to create meaning, to give myself to life fully knowing that I am probably going to get hurt again but no longer fearing it, no longer living in fear of suffering or my emotions, what people think of me, or of letting go. And most importantly, I found the part of me that is grateful for it all.
It was in the opening to gratitude that my stories of "why me?" began to shift. I found that understanding wasn't as far off as I had previously thought. While I couldn't change what had happened that I could change the story I held about what happened, who I am in relation to what happened and what I was going to do in each moment as a result.
I live everyday looking intimately into the realities of mortality, the beauty and pain of life. Cystic Fibrosis is a terminal illness and the journey my son and I walked together because of it was intense. I will be forever changed and affected by it until my final days on earth. It is a journey that has forced my gaze to stay steady in deeply painful and uncomfortable places for far longer than I would have otherwise. Much to my surprise when I was held in a safe way by either myself or some trusted other and allowed to go to the bottom of the well of grief and stay there, what I found was joy, peace, contentment and deep presence. That I can hold both grief and joy at the same time.
I believe the same is true for you. The greatest of joys and the deepest of losses and sorrows are intimately connected if we know how to read what we are seeing. These are skills that can be learned with time, patience, and gentle, loving effort. This is my work. I know that I am here to help bring a greater understanding to the world that change is normal and wonderful. It is life being lived. Grief, anger, joy, stress, happiness, fear, the entire range of our body's emotional system are our teachers and we can learn to listen to what we are being told. Our body already knows the way to the changes that are most needed for us to live a life worth living.
It is through this dialogue with body, with soul, with each other that healing and understanding comes.
On a more technical note: I studied Biomedical Sciences, Psychology and Nutrition at the University of Minnesota. I am also a certified Kripalu Yoga Teacher, Aromatherapist, am trained in and assist at trainings in Ho’oponopono- the Hawaiian method of forgiveness and reconciliation, EFT- emotional freedom technique, Somatic Experiencing, Healing Touch Energy Therapy and guided meditation among many other modalities.
Beginning in 2008, I lead workshops on whole food nutrition, helping clients with health, diet and lifestyle issues. I have also developed and formulated a custom line of all natural body products and formulated for product lines such as Olio E Osso.
In 2011 I was invited to join Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God book series, to teach yoga and be a space holder at his retreats. He remains a dear friend and teacher of mine.
Before becoming a coach I worked in infertility medicine helping to counsel those who are going through the infertility process find peace with their decisions and ability or inability to have a child.
But more than all that, I LOVE this stuff. This is my life's passion and purpose. I have no doubt about that.